Sabotage: how self image affects your goals

We all have goals. Lose weight. Build a business. Run. Exercise.

But many of us fail. Not for a lack of willpower or dedication, but something deeper.

Our self-image.

Self-image is the mental picture you hold of yourself. It’s how you see yourself. It could be different from what you are.

You might think, “I’m not disciplined,” “I’m not good with money,” or “I’m just not athletic.” These beliefs operate in the background, shaping your thoughts and actions without you even realizing it.

So what is the problem?

You act in ways that confirm your self-image. If you see yourself as someone who can never stick to a diet, you’ll unconsciously sabotage your progress.

Skipping a workout or reaching for junk will be your default.

Not because you can’t do it, but because doing it would contradict who you believe you are.

This is why setting goals alone isn’t enough. Your identity must match your ambition.

If the goal is to become a successful entrepreneur, but deep down you see yourself as someone who always plays it safe or avoids risk, you’ll procrastinate, self-sabotage, or give up when things get hard.

Psychologists call this cognitive dissonance. When your actions do not align with your self-beliefs, it creates tension.

And to relieve that tension, the brain often pulls you back to what feels familiar, even if it’s holding you back.

So how do you fix it?

Start by becoming aware of your internal narrative. What do you say about yourself when no one’s listening?

Then, begin to shift your identity. Slowly. Instead of “I want to lose weight,” think “I am becoming the kind of person who eats clean and moves daily.”

Small actions that reinforce a new identity will compound over time.

Your goals are not just outcomes. They are reflections of who you believe you are. Change the belief, and the behavior will follow.

Because ultimately, you don’t get what you want.

You get what you believe you deserve.

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