Reason or Vent: how to deal with anger?

Anger is the feeling of annoyance, hostility or displeasure. Someone has done or said something that makes you unhappy.

What is the best way to process or deal with anger?

One of my favourite books is Nobel House by James Clavell. The book weaves a rich tapestry of the hongs of Hong Kong. The hero, Ian Dunross, has a shrieking tree.

A tree where he goes to scream and shout when rage possesses him uncontrollably. To vent.

So, should you vent when you are angry? Or would it be better to reflect on what makes you angry?

Surprisingly, reflection is a far better tool.

Anger is a primal emotion. It is meant to drive you to act. Being attacked in a jungle requires you to act with speed. Anger drives you to do this.

But in the world we live in today, speed is often not the most vital thing required. We often have time to react to our cause of anger.

In such cases, reflection is a far better tool.

Your brain has two parts. The emotional brain and the rational brain. Both work differently and have different goals.

Your emotional brain is the one driving you to anger to enable you to act with speed. The rational brain is the one that can reason, but takes time to do so.

You want your rational brain to become your default. The emotional to be used only in a true emergency. Someone breaking and entering your house for example.

So how would you learn to reason?

Surprisingly, it requires practice. Not all of us are born with an intuitive ability to reason. You might call yourself the “emotional sort.”

But building the ability to reason, abduction, for example, which is the ability to reason with imcomplete data, might be one of the best skills you can develop.

Reason frees you from fear and anger.

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