Forgiveness - did we misunderstand what it means?

Have you found yourself in a situation where the voice inside your head is telling you to forgive, forget and move on?

When it did, did you angrily respond saying “No, never. I can't let it go?”

If you did, consider that perhaps our understanding of forgiveness is mistaken.

Forgiveness is the ability to condone the actions of the other. Someone did or said something that did not conform to your worldview.

But when you phrase it as forgive, forget and move on, it seems to suggest that you are doing something for the other person. There is an alternative.

Forgive. Don’t forget and don’t move on.

Forgiveness deals with the emotions. Yours.

It allows you to acknowledge and accept that whatever happened was not fair. But the world abounds with unfairness. Even if you believe in natural justice, it takes a long time. Sometimes generations.

So forgiveness allows you to stop fretting and fuming in the interim.

If you have forgiven, you do not need to forget. You do not need to move on. You could act in a dispassionate way to correct what transpired.

It does not have to be getting even. It could simply mean you outshine. Get better, learn more, become stronger, more capable.

Most of all, you develop the ability to be at peace with yourself.

Isn't that the ultimate flex?

So perhaps, the next time you need to forgive, do so. But stop there. Dont forget. Dont move on.

Use your experience to build a better version of yourself.

Look around you. The people who create dramatic change were all subjected to grave injustices. You could be one of them.

Life and people will be unfair whether you like it or not. It is what you do when that happens that will shape the rest of your life.

Reach out to me on twitter @rbawri Instagram @riteshbawriofficial and YouTube at www.youtube.com/breatheagain